When your insides feel more complicated than your therapist gets

Internal Family Systems Therapy

Treatment with an IFS specialist available online

What is IFS

Understanding Parts

Understanding Self

Healing with IFS

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy is a therapeutic approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. It’s based on the idea that the mind is made up of different parts, which are like "internal family members." These parts can include aspects of ourselves that hold specific feelings, thoughts, and behaviours

1. Parts

  • Exiles: These are parts of us that hold pain, trauma, or shame. Exiles often carry emotions that we have suppressed or pushed away because they were too overwhelming to deal with at the time.

  • Managers: These parts try to keep the exiles from being triggered. They often control behavior and emotions in ways that are protective (but sometimes overly so) and can include perfectionism, workaholism, or controlling behaviors.

  • Firefighters: When exiles are triggered, firefighters react to numb or distract from the intense emotions. Firefighters may manifest as addictive behaviors, anger outbursts, or other impulsive reactions.

2. Self

  • The "Self" in IFS is the core of who you are—the part of you that is calm, compassionate, and centered. In IFS, healing occurs when the Self is able to lead and mediate between the different parts, rather than being overwhelmed by them.

3. Healing Process

  • The goal of IFS therapy is to help individuals reconnect with their Self and to help the different parts of the system communicate with each other in healthy ways. This is done through compassionate curiosity and understanding, with the Self taking a leadership role in healing the wounded or stuck parts.

  • Often, this involves unburdening the exiles (helping them release the intense emotions or beliefs they carry) and transforming the roles of managers and firefighters so they become more functional and less extreme..

Are you looking for a specialist in Internal Family Systems?

Tamara Sandor

MSW, RSW

Do you ever think, “it’s like I know what to do, I just can’t seem to get myself to do it”? Do you ever set out to make progress on your goals but then find yourself self-sabotaging?

I am a Social Worker who is committed to walking alongside you as you navigate life's challenges. In my sessions, you can count on warmth, authenticity, and compassion from me as I support you in exploring and befriending your inner world using evidence-based therapeutic approaches like Internal Family Systems and Cognitive Processing. 

I specialize in working with people experiencing complex trauma and PTSD. If you have tried talk therapy in the past, you may find therapy with me somewhat more structured. I will work with you to understand how your trauma is impacting your body, your mind and your relationships. From there, we will work together to build a treatment plan that helps you address the root of the issues you are facing (whether those roots are traumatic memories or maladaptive core beliefs). Despite being outcome-oriented, I lead with a strong sense of patience and presence in my work with clients and will never rush the process. 

I provide service from an attachment-based, trauma-informed and culturally humble perspective, with a client list that includes young adults and adults with a diverse range of backgrounds and orientations. My approach may be a particularly good fit for individuals who identify in any of the following ways: creative, highly sensitive, neurodivergent and/or 2SLGBTQQIPAA.

I know it can be difficult to start with a therapist, but I will guide you through this difficult time, and help to set you up to work towards recovery. Log in to my schedule to book an appointment.